To Monica

My cousin died in her Mother's arms.

I wanted just to hug you
before you slipped away
there were some things
I wanted to say:
I remember when you were the sweetest
little girl.
Your love for your 'Nina'
and your red, bouncy curls.
You grew so tall and strong
it's like you knew all along
you'd be going home before us
and you left us with your song.
It's a song of selfless love
of caring from your heart,
of putting on a nurse's cap
and knowing where to start.
To minister to those in need, and
turning not away
from pain, from tears, from
wasted years,
but gently hear you say, don't worry,
it's going to be okay.

Wandering

Like corridors of haze
I wander through the maze
of what is real and what's a lie

then I change my gaze
heavenward it's raised
and am lifted up on high

singing songs of praise
to the Ancient of Days
brings me back to Life!

August

Lord, sometimes it seems I've lost my dreams
the morning looks bleak and dreary
But I know you're here and I know you're near
and I know I don't have to worry.

Oh, Father of Lights! My own delight!
This sabbath please renew me.
Let me hear your voice and see your face
and send your Spirit to me.

Ha Shem, Your Name brings great joy within
and I am humbled by Your Great Love
as I think of all my sin

Blessed be Your Name, oh Lord.

and now it's summer

Why haven't I written in so long. It's not that I haven't sought your face everyday, it's not that I don't long to be with you.
When I was a child, I remember asking my daddy for the moon, I can still see it.
A full moon, so beautiful and distant. What longing, what desire and yet what vanity.
How hopeless and empty, to wish for the moon.
But I was a child and it seemed logical to me. And yet how much do I still long for and yearn for the things of this world when, if I looked a little farther at the Creator of this world, all of my desire would lay down at His pierced and risen feet.

Oh the joy when I realize that all along, it was My Lord who was calling to me, not His creation.

yes, Lord

Is It Any Wonder?

Really, doesn't the Lord ask us to leave all and follow Him? That means leave all desires, hopes, aspirations, and sit and listen to Him.
Let the day unfold, as if some Wonderful Planner had it planned all along.

Release the worry, the tension and unleash the Praise and Worship.

Get along with the Spirit. Didn't He say that the one who is born again is like the wind?

Praise You, Father, you are my strong rock and you will lead me into your Kingdom.

What about the dog days of spring?

Why would anyone feel droopy in the springtime? How can sunny days and tulips trigger depression and gloom?
Could it be because the inner man is taking cues from a different reality?

I've often wondered how people with financial security could suffer the blues...or beautiful people could hate themselves. And it is occuring to me that the same lies that go off in my head, afflict most people.

How much I believe the lies is up to me. Or them. But reality does begin in the mind, the conscious, the inner being.

That's why understanding the Lord is so important, understanding who I am in the Lord is factual.

Seasons come and go, beauty is fleeting, but the Lord who Created and Redeemed me never changes.

Sometimes a break is too easily fixed....

Sometimes I really feel like I've been humbled.
I am low, so low. And then a flicker of my old self
twinkles. I'm not really broken, I'm playing possum.

I used to throw tantrums and feel like I was dying.
But after the dramatics, I was still kicking.

What is it to really die to self?

It must have something to do with living to/in Christ.

If He is really present, then I must really be gone.

I can only hope.

Going Against the Grain

Sometimes it seems that the wave of unbelief can carry
me to the place where I admit defeat.
A thought that what I am praying for, just can't happen.
Fear seeps in. Who says it can't happen? Who has spoken...

Is that you, Lord?

Switch to navigation by faith. What does the Word say?

So, when I pray for my son's wholeness, I rebuke the unbelief. I cry
out, Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief and soon, I hear that
my son has improved a bit.

Peace washes over me.

Wasn't manna given in the desert, here and then gone in a moment? How much is
our feast a momentary thing, yet, like bricks on the road to Rome, our daily bread, brings us one more moment home.

Spring

Well, it's been a long and wonderful winter.

Wonderful winter? Yes. The Lord is the reason for season, remember?

And that is spring, summer, fall and winter. Do we change with the seasons?

No. We ought to spiritually stay on course. This is where I believe, idolatry can come creeping in. We begin to rejoice with the new growth, and the warmth, but isn't this focusing on the creation rather than the creator?

What about the confusion of the term Easter? Don't we know that it has a pagan root coming from Ishtar, the pagan goddess of fertility?

Celebrating the Messianic version of Jewish Passover and the holiday of firstfruits, can keep us on focus, I believe.

Come on, lets make a few changes. Let's be leaders.

Let's have a great spring.

It's Snowing

Snow covers everything. Fields that were brown and full of weeds yesterday are covered over. When the sun comes out the snow will glisten, and sparkle like a field of diamonds.
How do I see myself when I confess my sins and am forgiven?
The Bible says my sins are covered and they are white as snow, that means the snow becomes the metaphor for my sins. I often make the mistake that the covering of the snow is all I have to claim. That somehow my sins are covered, just like the little weeds that show themselves as little lumps under the snow. My sins don't actually seem to go away.
But the Bible says they are white....as snow.....
Every now and then I really get it. That in Christ, I am pure.
And it impacts how I see others. They are forgiven as well.
And I can truly rest in Him.
Peace. Selah

Grace Under Fire

Or should I say, Grace in fire? One thing I know for sure, is that grace is the key to understanding the whole Christian thing.
Jewish law, attaining Nirvana, solidarity for unity, whatever the moniker, working to attain the righteousness we're hungry for will never make it.

The only way to peace is through the finished work of Christ.

I just heard a girl singing. Her song had a phrase, that went something like this:
"I wish I was a girl with flowers in her hair", she related back to the year 1969.
Her song indicated that back then, there was something different than now.

Back then, it was still Grace that got you where you needed to go.

The only way
to run away
from the toil of today
is to say
Grace
and Peace, through our Lord, Yeshua Ha Meshiach

September

Winds gently blow
over my sinful soul
cooler, cleansing,
letting the old man go.

Rosh Ha Shannah, feasting
trumpets blow
newest of the new
overwhelms my sorrow

Happy Birthday Yeshua
Happy Birthday Earth
Happy, happy, joy joy
Happy time of Birth.

And see, first the eve,
then the day
at this time of harvest
winter looms, spring is on her way.

insight

Oh Lord, you have been here all along
I pray for wisdom

Oh Lord, you have seen my distress
I pray that I can let my burden roll away

Oh Lord, you are so awesome, so wonderful
I pray

Oh Lord!

Praying

I think it's time to pray for our enemies. Bin Laden, Hezbollah, Iran, etc.
Realizing that Yeshua died for all. Realizing that we have to defend ourselves, yet at the same time to pray that these poor wretched souls who may have never heard the good news, will have a chance for salvation.
Do you believe that Yeshua is your Creator and Redeemer?
Then stand up and fight the spiritual battle. For the souls of those He died for.

Lets pray....

Humbled

Humbled, my heart receives your love
you fought, you stood the pain
you took it all upon yourself
and not for your own gain

It was for me, and for my own
it was for me, to bring me home
it was for me you died in shame
so Lord I praise your Holy name

Today is yours I freely give
And pray that you in me will live.

I Have Been Wondering

I have been wondering why I personally know of someone who has a lot of money.
Especially since I have none.
I would prefer not to know about the trips, the houses, the families that can see each other at the drop a ticket.
But I know them, and I love them.
That's the hard part. I have had to separate my love from my desire for things.

Basic things.

Here is why I think I know them. It's like an anti-biotic, a vaccination of a small dose of the disease, helps to build up an immunity.
The disease? Greed, love of money. Believing that if you had it, everthing would be okay.

The antidote? Love. God's love, where Godliness with contentment is great gain.
I had a small taste of being able to buy what I thought I needed, or go where I thought I should go, and I remember it. But was it the Lords' will?

Now, I feel I should be doing this or going there or paying this. But I can't.

The Lord knows... I seek the contentment that He loves me and has my best interest in mind and allows what He will. Yes, I know what my obligations are, but my heart must always be in the right place, no matter what. My heart does belong to Daddy, Abba, and He knows my needs. My inheritance is Him, my wealth is trusting in His love. No one can take that from me, it will not devalue or rust.

I have been vaccinated, I have the scar on my heart, and I am full of trust in my King! Glorious Lord, who watches over me and my family, Blessed Be Your Name!

The Time

It seems like a short time that I've written, but a month has gone by.
And here I am, waiting on you, Father.
Blessed Assurance.

He Is Risen Indeed

This past Easter, everywhere, where Christians gather, a celebration occured.
Prayers abounded, folks who only go once a year, went.
May we celebrate each and every day the rest of this year in such a fashion.
As our Pastor stated, the Meshiach presented His answer to a very profound question, 'what does a God do who is perfect love and who is perfectly just?'.
The perfect, most complete and whole answer, is that which we celebrated last Sunday, the Resurrection.

And how we love your perfect Sacrifice, oh Lord,
for now we rest, and have our peace
and seek your face, free from guilt and shame,
and how we love your perfect Love, anointed One,
and how our hearts beat your name.

Spring

Spring is here, I have a new job, the job is w/a start-up company and there are buds on the trees, singing birds ...
It's not that newness springs up out of nothing, as the roots have been growing and getting nourishment all winter.
My heart's winter is also passing by. The deepness of my love for my Lord has been growing because I have been trusting.
Trusting during the dark times. Trusting and hoping against hopelessness and despair has created new pathways for roots that dig deep into the catacombs of those who held on and found a way through.
It might seem trivial to some, to struggle with the inability to take care of yourself, indeed, it slips into a battle between life and death.
However, the life and the death that is truly important, I have found, is the life I find in Christ and the death I seek wholeheartedly is that one that is found at the cross of my Crucified Lord.
This is the big ring, this is where the killer blows bang out the flesh of my worldly soul and leaves my Spiritman triumphant.
This struggle between taking care of myself and to trust in the One who feeds the sparrows of the field is about pride. Simple, and sinful, pride.
I am broken, but my soul rests.
And it is spring!

O Believe

O believe
and take your darkened doubts
to task
for you have been called
by the Master (no more wandering for your thirsty soul)

O believe
you hardened heart and
full of sorrow
for the King's promise
has made you whole.

And if your life seems
pressed and crushed into the sieve
then rest assured your brokenness
is made perfect
when you believe.