what next

there is a lull it seems
in constant pain and hopeless dreams
there is a lull sometimes
when nothing moves
and nothing rhymes

and in this void of movement
in this waveless sea
like a puppet hanging limp
fear stalks the likes of me

I am no longer screaming
my voice has lost it's shrill
the quiet cloud of waiting
descends and I am still

I sigh with anticipation
I cannot stand the wait
here comes the condemnation,
self-loathing and self-hate.

where and why and how
is a mystery to me
all I know is that alone
death appears and beckons me

i hang my head; pain and I agree

but wait, as they say, there's more
i am alive it seems
something deeper still is stirred
and makes it's way upfront

hope! but why, based on what?
hope! remember it is said?
that when you drink the grape juice
and eat the matzah bread?

there's hope in every piercing
hope in every mark
hope in blood soaked broken flesh
where your death is parked

oh blessed hope, oh happy day
I remember now, He washed my sins away!
and now as i sit still and wait
it's love that finds His way

and blessed quiet, heart aglow
while waves of love renew
the simple gift of your life in me
and the joy of loving You!

End of Year, Beginning of Now

Oh, Lord, it seems the life I've made
Has been wrought with error.

Can't I please go back and unhurt
those I've scarred for life?

Oh, Lord, it seems the steps I've taken
have turned into a nightmare.

Won't you allow time to dissolve
long enough to turn the other way?

How is it your blood covers my sins?
How is it your love washed over me?

Who am I to have this option available?
This is a day of miracles.

Each day I realize that You have made a way
out of the wilderness of sin and doubt

Is a day of miracles.

I hope and pray for those I've hurt
For wrong steps taken, that Your Love
would be the only option in their lives
as well.

Thank you for a sweet desperation. A grasping
.....a poverty of love that only your coffers of
salvation can fill.

Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord!

waiting

waiting
as i wait i see too much of me

as i wait, my tears dry
and i have time to wonder why

as i wait, the sun peeks out
the clouds part, and i no longer pout

as i wait, a bird sings
and joyfully brings

news that God is out
and about

as I wait, i forget the demand
for right now, or i can't stand

as I wait, a still small voice
stirs inside and I rejoice

Report From The Abyss

Sinking lower, spinning head
nothing worse than my own bed
that which good or bad has bred
steals from me your grace.

no, haunts and taunts and drains
the lifeblood of hope and daily good
sapping will to live.

but then, in dire straits, your word
become flesh reminds me that
somehow i can trust, even tho
I am slayed.

the night does not give up so easily
and day wakens to despair
and still i labor to breathe
and fear casts its wave
and crashes on my souls' dismay.

but hope calls
and dreams come true
and lightening strikes the blackened sky
and I come running home to You.

Father's Day

Oh, that you know what I need...
to lie at rest at your feet.
To repose in your love
the world swirls and cascades
in tumultuous clamoring
of attention.
and now without the world, what have I?
who am I?
in you, my Lord...
what can I give
As Peter said, 'silver and gold have I none,
but such as I have, give I thee.....
In the name of Jesus Christ, rise up and walk.'

speak to yourself (I whisper softly to my own heart),
despair be gone.

Rise and shine, for your Creator has Redeemed your broken soul.

Why is that so hard to grasp?

Early on

Loving too much, is bad for the soul
No one else can make you whole

Caring so much that the world can fall
If you’re not loved back or loved at all

Waiting too long for the pain to subside
Telling the Lord of the tears that you’ve cried

Your bottle of tears is too small for the wound
The wholeness you’re seeking is bigger than you

Larger than life, sweeter than rain
Bloodthirsty death, hells own pain

Cannot come close to God’s Holy reign.

Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty,
Early in the morning we sing our Praise to You.


Keeping too much holding it tight
Setting your goal on making it right

All of your dots and tittles in line
Don’t make the grade, don’t make you fine.

Being the god of your world won’t do
your self sacrifice is all about you

you and you and you alone
walking the steps only you have known

why not look up and instead let it go
your you isn’t all there is to know

or come close to what God has made whole.


Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty,
Early in the morning we sing our Praise to You.

Tulips

If ever I've seen the handiwork of the Lord
it is evidenced in the tulip.
Before the flower; the bulb.
Encased in the teardropped womb,
living grace and singular beauty will enfold.
The bud is etched with design and color
before the bloom is exposed, one realizes
that beauty calls to beauty.
As if the manifold wisdom of God is etched into
every strand of His creation.
He doesn't shine because the 'greatest' thing,
has been discovered. All things created by Him
are great and waiting for discovery.
How then shall we live?
What do we need of material things when before us
is arrayed the curious, the wonderful, the soul-satisfying
depths of seeking our Beloved.
In His creation, in His unending mercy, in His great power,
and in His sacrifice we have great riches.