what next

there is a lull it seems
in constant pain and hopeless dreams
there is a lull sometimes
when nothing moves
and nothing rhymes

and in this void of movement
in this waveless sea
like a puppet hanging limp
fear stalks the likes of me

I am no longer screaming
my voice has lost it's shrill
the quiet cloud of waiting
descends and I am still

I sigh with anticipation
I cannot stand the wait
here comes the condemnation,
self-loathing and self-hate.

where and why and how
is a mystery to me
all I know is that alone
death appears and beckons me

i hang my head; pain and I agree

but wait, as they say, there's more
i am alive it seems
something deeper still is stirred
and makes it's way upfront

hope! but why, based on what?
hope! remember it is said?
that when you drink the grape juice
and eat the matzah bread?

there's hope in every piercing
hope in every mark
hope in blood soaked broken flesh
where your death is parked

oh blessed hope, oh happy day
I remember now, He washed my sins away!
and now as i sit still and wait
it's love that finds His way

and blessed quiet, heart aglow
while waves of love renew
the simple gift of your life in me
and the joy of loving You!